Many of the complaints singles make pertain to the length of time spent on dating apps. Some even include it in their profiles: “I am not looking for an app buddy”. It is easy to understand why. The purpose of dating apps is to meet someone. That is it. We should not be sharing more pictures, our day, or weekend plans there. Ideally, those conversations should be over the phone or on the first date.
Who should make the move?
Gender role still plays a major part in the way many relationships develop. Most women want to be courted and asked out rather than take charge. There is nothing wrong with that. Some of us are lucky enough to meet men who are decisive and take lead in suggesting activities or dates. Others need assistance with giving hits because they are dealing with men who are either shy, inexperienced or introverts. I believe one of life’s greatest gifts is adaptability. We all have, so why not use it?
Subtle hints
Below are some examples of basic questions to ask to ensure a smooth transition from app to phone number exchange.
1) Did you have a good weekend? What did you do? (this will help you suggest plans for the weekend they will most likely say yes to)
2) What is the line of work you do? (Try to get something specific about their work so you can verify their identity on Linkedin or yelp, especially if they are a business owner).
3) Where do you live? (Distance is a major factor in a new relationship; get it out of the way first).
4) Do you live alone or with family/friends?
5) How would you prefer to get to know someone?
6) Where are you in life, right now? (This will help you understand what they are focused on and what they are seeking).
7) Where is your favorite place in the house to talk on the phone?
8) What are you excited for next? (This is a good way to find out how far they have come from their last relationship).
9) Are you good at planning dates? I have received awards for mine. Maybe I can give you a few tips.
10) I wonder what your voice sounds like, are you free to talk this evening?
Something to look forward to
Once you review the answers you received and you are satisfied, the transition from app to phone should be something that you both are looking forward to. There should be something you want to share with each other, so that the conversation is not awkward. Setting up a friendly competition/rivalry about the best dates you both have planned in the past is a great way to have a fun conversation on the call. Ten questions are more than enough to get the ball rolling, if you are uncertain what to ask, you may also use their profile as inspiration to get more information. Often, people will also link in their Instagram, which is a great way to see how they like to enjoy their free time.
There are plenty of ways to win someone if we are set on doing so. Time is of the essence in the hunt for love. Especially when it is a numbers game. You should have a page on your notes with your intro template and the ten transition questions ready to go. That way, all you will have to do is add in a few items from their profile to personalize it and copy and paste the rest. This method will save you time and it will also provide you a consistent way of screening your potential dates. Don’t forget the main point of this is to have fun.
