The boundless search for someone interesting has finally paid off. You connected with someone you actually like. You chatted a bit on the app, exchanged numbers, talked on the phone, facetimed to verify each other’s authenticity, and at last you are having the talk about meeting in person. Whether you are a novice or veteran of the online dating world, please know there is still much to discover. Below we have listed a few of the steps we usually share with our clients, even after we have vetted their matches. After all, despite what a criminal background check may reveal, there are corners in the human psyche no one has access to.
Here it goes:
Trust your intuition. There is nothing more sophisticated than our instincts. If at any point throughout your conversation with the person you sense something is off, or you do not really feel like seeing them: DO NOT.
Google them. There is still much the big G does not know, but it never hurts to ask for its help. Just remember a person can have a legitimate job, social media presence filled with pictures of their family and friends, and still have a dark side no one knows anything about, including Google.
Tell a tale. Let someone in you family or circle of friends know where you are going and share with them the number and picture of the person you are meeting. Make sure they check in with you within an hour of your departure to ensure your safety.
Always meet in a public space. This safeguard should remain in place beyond the first date. Until you feel comfortable with the individual, you should not go to their place nor meet in spots with light foot traffic. One of the many dates suggested pre and during COVID is going for a hike. I would strongly caution anyone against this. Unless of course we are talking about the trail to visit the Hollywood sign, which at this point is a pilgrimage and not a hike. Hiking trails can be dangerous because they provide the perfect spots to dump a body or offer the opportunity to “accidentally” push someone off a cliff. Until I know you are sane, we are not reaching those heights.
Drive separately. You do not want to be dependent on someone before you know they are dependable. Your date can take one look at you and decide to bail out, or they may end up drinking too much and driving recklessly, or even abduct you. You do not trust me? I suggest you stop by the Investigation Discovery channel on your free time and watch their “Dates from hell” series. It is enough to make you jump right back in your Pajamas.
Mi Casa es su casa. In the event of fate discharging high voltage electricity or magnetism between you and your date, always go to your place or a hotel. Do not go to theirs. You may end up never making it back. The person may record you; they may live in filth…so much can go wrong. You know your place and you know you are safer there. I would still recommend a hotel as a first choice, but since I am not your accountant, I do not know your financial situation.
Be mindful of alcohol. Do not drink anything preordered, and always hand your drink to the bartender, should you need to use the restrooms. Gender does not matter. First dates can be nerve-racking, however, that is no excuse to throw back glasses. Alcohol has been known to get people to do things they ordinarily would not, including finding themselves naked in some dark alley or basement.
I know it is a lot to take in, especially when everything seems to be lining up so effortlessly. Just remember this world has both good and evil. If you are dealing with good, then each of your walls will fall with every reassurance. If you are not…you can never have too many.
