Hello,
I’ve been seeing this girl I met on Bumble for a while. She is more outgoing, cultured and travelled than me. She is really nice, smart and we have a lot in common. So far, we’ve been on 6 great dates. She talks more than me, which is fine because I love listening to her. We always hold hands and make out etc. I really like her, and she feels the same about me.
She seems very outgoing, and I’m the exact opposite. For example, she has a huge circle of friends across different states, while I’m limited to 2-3 nerd buddies that I hardly see. She’s traveled all over the world, while I’ve only been to a few states and a couple of islands. She’s experienced so much in our city (dining, festivals, concerts etc). When she asks me about my social life or experiences, I feel bad because my life has never been that exciting. I believe that the longer we date, the sooner she will find out that I don’t have much going on.
Despite being a super introvert, I’m always down for new experiences and stuff. In a way, I feel like dating her would allow me to get out more. She always tells me that she can’t wait to spend more time with me. I do have confidence in myself, but I always imagined a girl with her personality and life experiences would want someone.. who also is very outgoing and experienced a lot. Should I tell her that I’m a introverted homebody with a limited social life?
Dear introvert,
What a great issue to have in a relationship! Although it is a bit intimidating to be with someone who has more cultured, outgoing and travelled than us, think about how lucky you are. You are in the presence of someone who can teach you so much.
You both like each other, you enjoy each other’s company, and you are learning new things. In you she found a listener, which is a treasure in itself. This is what Stephen Covey calls a win-win situation. Just because you have not had as many adventures as her, it does not mean you cannot experience future ones together.
Very few people are fortunate enough to meet someone they can learn from. You should take this opportunity for what it is: a crash-course in life. Also, just because she knows more than you, it does not mean she knows everything. You can learn about her interests and plan fun activities for both of you to immerse yourselves in. Say she is into abstract art; you can ask her about her favorite artists to get an idea about the ones she is familiar with. Then, do a research on the rest, and plan an outing where you can both experience something new and learn together.
Having a lot of people in your life does not mean you have a lot of friends. As you get older, you will understand one true friend is worth a thousand acquaintances. Remember: quality over quantity.
As for the fact that she is more outgoing, cultured and travelled than you, that is great. But there are plenty of places you can both still visit. Many in the same country where she has already been. It is one thing to experience a destination with friends and family, and it is a other to go there with the one you love. Trust me. Even the sunset on the beach you have been to several times looks different when you are in the arms of your lover.
This are the best of times. Enjoy your new partner without feeling insecure. There is more to your beautiful soul than you think. And your humility is a testament to that.
Best of Luck!
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