Hi,
I want to get my mojo back. I’ve lost all my confidence.I am hoping you can give me some guidance as I feel like a shadow of my former self.
My partner and I met 15 years ago. I fell in love with the way that he made me feel. He made me laugh and it was pretty fabulous. Together we were the life of the party. We had fun… lots of fun. We were happy. I’ve always been a people person, quite like being the centre of attention, never had an issue dating or with work etc.
Three kids later (9,5 and 3) and I feel like a ghost. I don’t know how to get my mojo back. I miss my job and having a purpose, not that I don’t love being a mum. But seriously, where did I go? Whatever confidence I had has well and truly left the building and I don’t feel like my former self. If I’m honest, I’m not fun to be around. I feel needy and desperate for hubby’s love and affection.
I have become the person I used to pity. Hubbie acts like he’s still into me but I’m always questioning his affection. Doubting his attraction. Doubting his love. I hate feeling like this. I need to get my confidence and mojo back but have NO idea where to start.
Please help!!
Brenda
Hi Brenda,
Regardless of who we are, there comes a time in our life when we lose ourselves, and we begin to desperately want our mojo back. You are no exception. The fun person you mention before the birth of your children had simply a different outlook on life and had more optimism. You were the life of the party because you were energetic, younger and had less responsibilities than you do now. That life in you attracted life.
BACK TO YOU
The great news is you can get your mojo back. The issue for many of us, however, is knowing how to get it back. Think about it this way: getting your mojo back is like looking for something you lost. You know you had the item, but you cannot find it because you misplaced it. Now you will have to retrace your steps. In doing so, you may find other things you lost before and you didn’t even know.
The first step to get your mojo back is to have a plan. It makes no sense to want to be who you were. That person has served its time and has moved aside to allow who you are meant to be. Do not waste your time thinking ‘I want to be who I was’. That would be a disservice to you and the experiences you have gained.
WHO?
Think instead ‘who do I want to be?’ There is more excitement in creating the life you want rather than trying to hold on the one you have lost. First thing you should do is to get active. If you have stopped working out, get started. Start with just a 10 minute walk and work your way up. If you have been exercising, switch it up. Try a new and more challenging workout. Exercise is the best way to jumpstart transformation. Think about how you want the woman you are creating to look like, and begin crafting her step by step. Don’t set immediate goals. On the contrary, think of yourself as a powerful wizard who is creating a magical creature. Make the woman you want to become your secret plan and pursue her creation like a mission.
WHAT?
The next question you want to answer is ‘what is she like?’ Is the woman you are becoming artistic, cultured, informed, crafty, elegant, involved? What is she made of? Think about all the qualities and talents you admire in other women, make a list, and seek out time and classes to learn these things. Your biggest obstacle may be time. With three little ones, and a household to run, I am certain you are beat all the time. Yet, if you want to live life and be more than a ghost, you must make your wellbeing and growth a priority. It makes no sense that you dedicate all your time to your children but what they are truly getting is just your shell. What is life without a spark? Your youngest is almost ready for kindergarten, so s/he will soon be out of the nest. Have you thought about returning to the workforce? If so, are you planning on doing what you were before you started a family or are you planning a career change? These are all things to consider as you are molding your new life.
WHERE?
Venturing out of your circle brings you in contact with other individuals. You will meet people who are active and in different stages of life. Positivity is contagious. The more you do things, the more you will start to feel alive, inspired and engaged. You will begin to feel enthusiasm, motivation, joy, and baby: that is what they call getting your mojo back.You may need to reassess the important things in your life by reminding yourself why they matter to you. Take your husband for instance, ask yourself how has he evolved? How is he different from who you fell in love with? How can you meet him where he is and how can you be a better partner for him? We know you have lost your mojo, but what have you gained? How have you evolved? Despite what you think, you also have a different side to you. Now the question is, how do you continue to nurture it.
HOW?
How did you become the person you dislike, and how can you get back to being the fun, life of the party again? What can you actively do to change? Living a joyful life is not just going to happen. You have to put in the effort to create it. If you want your mojo back, you must be willing to make the effort to light the spark. That feeling you are seeking is within you. You just have to be willing to tap into it. You are responsible for everything you made happen in your life, and as such, remind yourself you have the power to start living with purpose again.
Good Luck,
Reference
www.lovedestination.com
