The verdict is in. Singles are tired of these trends, and they do not know how to make it any clearer. If you have ever started a conversation with someone, only to log in the next day to find their profile gone from your inbox, you are probably guilty of one, if not more, of these faults.
For many singles, it is a turn off when their match:
- Never ask any questions. There is a difference between a conversation and a deposition. The foundation of a conversation is the exchange of information. That means a conversation needs the participation of both parties. Each individual should be invested in discovering things about the other and sharing information about themselves. This requires both ASKING and ANSWERING each other questions. Being the only one to ask questions wears out a person, and makes one lose interest in their match.
Solution: ask questions that help with getting to know the person. There are several here. https://www.instagram.com/thewoomensay
- Answer only one of the questions in the list. If someone took the time to write a few questions, and we just so happen to be interested in the individual, the least we can do is answer them. Answering just one question can be one of three things. Either the match has something to hide, or they are not that interested in the person they are talking to, or they are just plain rude. Either way, if your time and effort are not being valued, swipe left.
Solution: dedicate time to interact with the person you are talking to. If you are busy, do not engage. Wait until you have time.
- Don’t take time to send thoughtful messages. All of our inboxes, at one time or another have been filled with empty words. For some reason, these tend to be abundant compared to meaningful ones. I get it. The process to find the one can be exhausting. We find ourselves chatting with several people, nothing ever materializes into something concrete, they sometimes disappear, or we get tired of them, we then find ourselves starting the circle all over again. It is brutal.
Solution: limit the engagement to a few matches at a time. Focus on quality.
- Send too many (cheesy) selfies. This is not where your pictures are stored. My inbox is not the Cloud. I can see your pictures in your profile. Trust me, I know how to scroll up. We get it. We are living in a world where we believe more in pictures than reality. However, for a relationship to blossom, we will need to focus on establishing a time and place to enjoy each other’s company and get to know one another.
Solution: unless asked, do not share more pics.
- Asks for additional pictures. Most apps already have a minimum requirement of pictures we must upload to sign up. Some apps even force us to take a selfie to authenticate the profile. Of course, we are all on pins and needles after watching catfish, but that should not be the reason to keep asking for more pictures. For many singles, the hesitation to sharing more is tied to the fact that we do not know where this conversation is going. Meaning, we way end up liking each other and going out, or one of us may decide otherwise and un-match, leaving us wondering where in the wild, wild web our pictures will end up.
Solution: when in doubt of the identity of the person we are talking to, ask for a facetime call.
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