What’s her deal… help!

So my girlfriend is saying she is not satisfied with me in bed.  We have been dating for almost 2 years… Every time we have a fight she blocks me on everything including social media. Then she says me mean messages like you never satisfy me or even make me come, you have a small dick, and you don’t know how to eat pussy so on and so on…Is that how she really feels or what do I make of it? Any input would be helpful.

 

 

Hello Dear, 

 

Yes. There is truth to it. She is not satisfied. Why would she say these things if she didn’t mean them? Whose words is she speaking then if not hers? These thoughts have been in her all along. It is just that when you fight, anger makes them come to the surface. Based on your letter, this is a recurring event, since it happens “every time you have a fight”. What would be the purpose of her saying something without any meaning to you or her? That would be useless. When we are upset, we utter the words that give meaning to the feeling we are experiencing. Hence, dissatisfaction and frustration. These words highlight the intensity of her feelings. 

 

NEWS FLASH

The good news is that these feelings of dissatisfaction are not the ones she is experiencing. There must be some love there for her to be in a relationship with you, for two entire years. And I am certain you have something more to offer than just physical gratification. At least I hope. Surely, it is not easy to hear something negative about ourselves, especially when it is our girlfriend telling us she is not satisfied. In the face of criticism, you can either listen objectively and learn, or get your feelings hurt. Her telling you she is not satisfied in bed is not the end of the world. 

 

THERE IS ROOM

It does not mean you cannot improve and learn. Sure, it is not right for the person to say it in anger. Nonetheless, this is something she feels also when she is not upset.

Perhaps the next time that you make up, when you are both at peace, you can ask her to teach you how she likes to be pleased. Her not being satisfied does not mean you are not good at all. It just means you have not mastered her body, yet. You can turn this around. There is plenty of material available to teach you about a woman’s anatomy. I suggest starting with lesbian porn. It is more focused on the pleasure of the woman rather than showmanship. 

 

 

MAIN ISSUE

The relationship’s main problem, however, is communication. For starters,  it is her delivery and timing. She lashes out when she is angry, and that can be a problem moving forward. There must be a reason why she is not able to verbalize her needs, unless she is angry. Maybe she is not used to asking for what she wants. Many women are not.  Or you may be the type who does not take any form of observation without offense. You could both do better. You could master new tricks, and she could practice healthy communication. Life is about learning and relationships about growing.

 

I suggest having a heart to heart when you are in a better space. Without yelling at each other, tell her you want to address some of her complaints, and do what is best to make her feel good. Ask her to teach you how she likes to be touched, and take it from there. Or you could ask her to tell you what feels good, as you incorporate some of the techniques you learned from watching lesbian porn. Let her know that your willingness to learn comes with a condition. RESPECT. Calmly inform her that way of lashing out does not hurt you or diminish you. It only reflects she does not have maturity and healthy communication skills. What we say about/to others spotlights our character. Ask her to make the necessary changes to continue the relationship, or you will not take her back again, satisfied or not.

Take care!

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