Query: Hi, I am a 27-year-old banker and was dating a colleague since past two years. Three months back, we had our roka ceremony and marriage was on cards. Last year, he wanted to buy a car and I took a loan of 4 lakhs for him. A week back, I paid the last installment of this loan and called to inform him. Unfortunately, he confessed he is in love with his ex-girlfriend and broke up with me. Now, I feel shattered and do not even feel like living my life. I was duped by the love of my life. Plus, I can’t see my mother crying all the time. What should I do? –
Dear Anonymous 27,
Sometimes the things that happen to us can be overwhelming. Yet, taking your life for being duped over a car loan is not worth it. There is never a good enough reason to take your life.
It is my understanding that you and your boyfriend have the same job, so I was wondering why it was you who took out the loan for $456,466 and not him? By the way, that is a huge investment in a man you were only dating. Although you thought the two of you would get married, reality is you still were not. Also, you took out the loan for him, perhaps he couldn’t qualify, but why are you the one paying it? Based on the way the story reads, it is fair to say you bought him a car, since you are the one who paid for it all.
I don’t know how much money you are currently earning, but to be able to pay off almost half a million dollars in a year means you are a successful young lady, and that is what you have to keep reminding yourself. You can always make money again, and you will, but in the future, you must do a better job at putting yourself first.
It pains me to know you and your mother are suffering now. Rest assured that this, too, shall pass. What’s done is done. Now is the time to focus on the solution and not the pain. This is a valuable lesson for your future and for any young person who gets in a relationship and gives more than they are receiving. We all play the fool at some point in life, what matters is that we don’t remain a fool. Please hold on and give yourself some time to heal. A year from now you will look at all this and laugh. In the meantime, I send you strength and serenity to keep you comfort.
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