Flirting has become a dying artform. If I were to share how many clients are rejected by their matches because they turned a date into an interrogation, you would not believe it. Or maybe you will, since you may have faked an emergency and escaped as well. I cannot express how many dates would become a relationship if flirting and fun would be involved in them.
Why we do not flirt
We often confuse the search for something meaningful to seriousness. Just because I am looking for commitment it doesn’t mean I have to behave like a high school principal. We all want a relationship filled with fun, laughter and joy. I am a firm believer that things will grow in the same manner they were planted. If the footing of a relationship is based on mutual respect and good times, then that will characterize most of the relationship. By the same token, if we enter a space filled with suspicion and the need to uncover secrets, we will deal with dateless weekends. Don’t get me wrong. It is important to uncover as much as possible about the date, but doing in a fun way while laughing and from a place of genuine curiosity provides greater results.
HOW TO FLIRT
Physical
– Smile: smiling is contagions, and it has the power to increase attraction. People who tend to smile often are perceived as likeable and easy to get along with. There is something heartwarming and reassuring when people greet us with a smile. It is an indirect form of acceptance. This weapon is free and available in your arsenal. Use it.
– Find an excuse to touch them (appropriately): touch is one of the first signs of acceptance. Physical contact is something we, as a species, are wired to need. Severe developmental delays occur in its absence. Therefore, be subtle in the approach. For instance, if you are a woman flirting with a man say: “I love your watch” as you reach out to delicately take their hand in yours and reach for their arm. “it looks good on you”. If you are a man flirting with a woman, use the same technique of touch and compliment their ring/bracelet/watch. A light touch is a turn on, and if the date does not flinch, it is a signal of willingness to go further.
– Sit up straight: posture is important. It conveys authority and refinement. Practice this at home by enjoying a movie with a book on your head.
– Hold their gaze: eyes are the window to the soul. A skilled flirter can communicate everything through their gaze without ever saying a word. As a matter of fact, there is nothing more seductive than to look at someone seductively while talking about something completely unrelated.
– Look at their mouth: a glance at their lips every now and then conveys desire. Emphasis on the now and then though, because if you stare at their mouth for too long, they will end up thinking they have something stuck in their teeth.
– Flip your hair: if you are a woman, your hair is on of your weapons. By flipping your hair, you cause scent to travel from you to him, and if you smell good, you will be able to activate his imagination.
Verbal
– Be suggestive: flirting just enough for them to question your intention will get them thinking and wanting for more. Bringing them to a place where they wonder are ‘they attracted to me or is this their personality’ would be ideal.
– Tease them (playfully): Never resort to picking on their physical appearance to be playful. Target the dish they ordered, their favorite band, song, movie etc.
– Challenge them: think of a few riddles. They are great way to break the ice and make others feel good, especially if they are funny.
In the quest for love, it has been proven time and time again, that if we entertain your date -rather then trying to impress them with our accolades- they will want to see us again. A great way to do this is to answer a question they asked us briefly and bring back the attention to them by asking a question, then teasing them about their answer. Think more about common things to laugh about above anything else, and you will get your next date.
