Too much time is wasted trying to understand if the person we matched with on a dating app likes us or not. It is not that complicated. Denial however is. The number one reason why many people waste time on apps and end up feeling burnt out is because they pursue individuals who are not interested in them.
Trust your instincts
Our intuition is the best asset we have. It alerts us of lies, potential harm, upcoming disappointments along with many other things. Sometimes people answer to a couple of questions, initially, then begin to appear and disappear in our inbox. These are all tell-tell signs of someone not being fully invested. Relationship can only be built when two people are interested in one another equally. Consequently, if we are the only ones initiating conversation, asking questions, telling jokes, the interaction becomes a chore. Yet, it never ceases to amaze me how many people will continue day in and out to pour more into a hopeless situation, just because they consider the crumbs they are being thrown as a sign of interest.
Are all the signs there?
There is an easy way to spot interest, and below are some of the signs people show when they are into us.
- Initiating communication: whenever we like someone, we want to hear from them. We want to talk to them. A strong indication that your match likes you is the effort the put to interact with you, often. This means they are not shy about sending you messages asking you about your wellbeing and day.
- Quick response: there will be no such thing as left on read. When our match likes us, they want more of us, so they will make sure the communication is uninterrupted. Even the busiest of people find time to say: “I can’t talk to you right now, but I will call you when I am done”. This is the mature and respectful way to interact with those we care about.
- Desire to spend time together: the main purpose of a dating app is to find someone to enjoy life with. The minute that spark happens, we want to meet the person and see if there is chemistry between us. Thus, plans will be made and not cancelled. If we are finding ourselves on week three still waiting for a reply we sent Monday, chances are this thing is not going anywhere. There will be no hesitation about spending time with one another when there is interest.
- We vs. I: a great sign of things heading in the right direction is the use of the word “we” instead of ‘I”. There will be talks like “we can go here and try this out”. The use of “we” indicates the individual is comfortable getting close to others and creating attachment. They are not afraid to depend on us or vice versa. If the match insists on using “I” continuously, we must accept they prefer to avoid emotional attachment.
The most important take away is that life is short. Wasting it on someone who is not interested in us is not fair. One thing about love is that it is pure. Things fall in place naturally. Its objective is care and wellbeing. Should you find yourself performing endless legwork, pull the plug. Always invest only where you see a return.
